Parent Education Content presented in partnership with The FA Learning AA

SOCCER FOR TEENS

Dropping Out
What do I do if my child wants to drop out?  Well, to start with, don’t shout and threaten them!  Talk to your child and the coach and try to understand the reasons behind the decision.  There may well be problems no one was aware of, which may be easy to solve, or it may be that the child just wants to stop playing for a while.  It may be appropriate to arrange a meeting with the coach and/or program director so that all parties, including the child, can reach an informed decision.  Whatever the outcome of the meeting, as the soccer parent, you must make sure that you give your child your full backing and support.

Reasons Why Teenagers Stop Playing:
Decrease in interest // Lack of parental support // Too competitive // Too much pressure from family and coaches // Part-time jobs. // Shattered dreams (we are not the next David Beckham or Mia Hamm) // Boredom // Other outside pressures // Other available activities // Peer pressure.

Moving into Adult Soccer
For those that do continue playing, the next move is likely to adult soccer, but this becomes a jump too far for many children.  Some of the possible reasons for this are:

Physical strength // Lack of playing opportunity // The more aggressive attitude in adult soccer // Lack of confidence in mixing with adults // Social aspects of adult soccer.

Making it Easier
There are ways to help children in coping with the transition to adult soccer.  The following advice will help your child move from youth to adult soccer.

Instead of a leap from the under 15s to adult soccer, encourage a smoother transition if possible.  Try to ensure your child moves up the age groups before joining adults.

Ensure that the youth club supports the transition either into their own adult league or has an established relationship with local adult teams.

Make sure that when choosing an adult team, you choose one that is right for your child.

What You Can Do as a Parent to Help
Be supportive.  Make sure that you keep going to the games whenever possible and are able to talk about the games with them.

Be available to help with the little things, even if it seems they are no longer as necessary as they were.

Go to live games together or watch the televised ones as an alternative.  You can talk about what’s happening during the game and learn from one another.

Encourage your child, but do not pressure them to stay involved.  Let them make their own decisions.

How Do You Know if Your Child has Potential?
In some cases, children learning the game will develop and improve at a faster rate than their peers.  You might observe your child’s potential for yourself in training and in games or your coach may pass comment.  Alternatively, your coach may be able to make contact with a professional club on the player’s behalf and invite a scout to watch the player.  If this happens you must consider the following:

Make sure that both the club and the school are kept informed if you are approached by a professional club.

Your child has achieved a great deal in getting this far, but remember that the club will also be looking at hundreds of other players in a season, so just because your child has a trial, it’s no guarantee that he or she will be selected.

Control Your Own Ambitions
It is all too easy for the parents of talented children to become too involved in their own personal ambition for their children rather than considering their children’s own ambition.  Make sure that you are never too pushy and, remember, it’s your child’s life, not your own.  The best thing you can do is to be supportive and don’t get carried away with your own ideas of what your child can or might be able to do.

Managing Your Child’s Ambitions
We all need to have goals and believe in ourselves, but part of your role is to be realistic.  This will depend on your child’s age, their rate of development and the ability already shown.  It’s difficult to strike the balance that is needed as a parent, because you will always want to encourage and help your child maximize his or her potential, while at the same time minimize the risk of your child being disappointed.

It’s the role of the soccer parent to be aware of all the possible outcomes that your child may have to face.  For many talented children, set-backs will be part of the game and it is often how they react to these that determine how far they will go to achieve their dreams.  Soccer is full of stories of players released by managers at one club to become a superstar years later at another.  Players can be released for many reasons and I am sure that, if you’re the parent of a talented child, you may not agree, but if such an event arises don’t focus on the negative and make sure that you are there for your child.

Achieving a Balance
How do you help your child maintain a balanced life?  If your child is showing great potential, then it is likely that they will start to play far more often and the demand on your child’s time even greater.  However, it’s your role as a soccer parent to ensure that there is some balance.

Most importantly, ensure that your child keeps up with school work and maintains their friendship groups.  You may need to agree to a sensibly-structured program that allows time for all these activities and also gives your child some spare time.  In most cases, coaches or program directors recognize the needs of the child to have a life away from soccer and will support the parent’s wishes.

Coaches practically everyday tell their players in practice, “Don’t force it.”  The same applies to you as a parent.  Don’t force your child to do anything he or she doesn’t want to do.  Regardless of talent level, some children enjoy playing until their bodies are no longer capable, while others choose to go another route early.  Whatever their decision, make sure it is just that—their decision.

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