GREAT EXPECTATIONS: WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE PARENT
Why parents are Important to Soccer

The parental influence is extremely important and most parents will be aware that they can have both a positive and negative influence dependent on what they do and what they say. One of the most important roles a parent plays in soccer is helping to shape their child’s interest and attitude to the game.

Remember, it is important that in developing your child’s interest in the game the child is central and emphasis on winning is secondary. As parents we should be encouraging performance rather than winning and should keep competition in perspective.

If everyone played soccer solely to win then it wouldn’t be long before all but a very few talented players gave up the sport. Even at grassroots level only one team in a league of perhaps 20 will be able to win the championship. Therefore, if winning is your child’s primary reason for playing soccer then there is a high probability that he or she will be disappointed on a regular basis.

The next time your child plays and loses a game, take time to discuss the match without focusing on the result and by discussing what was enjoyed, areas of the game that have improved, what has been learned from the match and how this can be used to develop and improve.

Giving Children a Good Start
A supporting and positive home environment provides an excellent launch pad for a child’s involvement and enjoyment of the game. Many of the suggestions below can be used to support your child in all of his or her interests and hobbies, even in academic studies. Most parents will recognize the suggestions as key aspects of communicating with your child, but they are easy rules to forget. This is especially true if you consider that all most parents want is for their child to be successful and enjoy every aspect of their life. Our recommend starting 11 is as follows:

1) Encourage, but don’t force.
2) Know when your child is ready to play.
3) Encourage healthy life style habits.
4) Help children to set realistic targets.
5) Actively take part in home-based games with the children.
6) Promote and teach fair play.
7) Help children to make their own decisions.
8) Take children to watch games.
9) Be supportive and encourage your child particularly when things aren’t going well.
10) Provide transport.
11) Set a good example.

How to Work with the Coach
Here are some golden rules for a better working relationship with the coach:

• Communicate any concerns to the coach.
• Help the coach when asked.
• Refrain from contacting the coach outside of club activities, unless necessary.
• Respect that the coach has a private life.
• Ensure that you have completed a medical consent form.
• Inform the coach about any illness, injury, holidays, change in circumstances, etc.
• Make an effort to watch games.
• Make sure your child has the appropriate equipment/clothing.
• Show appreciation for a job well done.

Making Competition Better and More Appropriate to Your Child’s Needs
Essentially, soccer is a competitive game, whether it’s in the backyard, the playground, the local league or a national cup final. But it is important as soccer parents that we put competition into perspective for the sake of our children and for ourselves!

There is nothing wrong with healthy competition, the problems occur when the competitive aspect, particularly in children’s soccer, is more important than the game itself. In children’s soccer, competition is a tool to develop participation and performance, it should not be a measure of success (that will develop later) and we should be looking to develop a lifelong interest and not a win-at-all-costs environment.
Unfortunately, I have observed too many instances in children’s soccer where the fun, enjoyment and the encouragement to develop good and fair play has been destroyed because of the attitude and behavior of parents trying to live their lives through their children and their success.

Soccer is a game that is passionate and competitive, but these should not be ready excuses for emotional parents who set the wrong example every time they watch their children play. Parents should be encouraged to support their children.

The next time you watch your child play take some time to observe the actions of the other parents. Recently, I overheard parents discussing a game their children’s team had lost a month previously when the children had probably moved on within the hour and were already looking forward to the next training session and match.

Parent’s Code of Conduct
As parents we can influence our children’s enjoyment and success in soccer. It is important to remember that however good a child becomes at soccer, as a parent you should reinforce the message within your child’s club that positive encouragement will contribute to children enjoying soccer, a sense of personal achievement, great self-esteem and an improvement in the child’s skills and techniques.
Ensure that other parents within your child’s team are always positive and encouraging towards all of the children and not just their own.

Encourage other parents to:
• Applaud the opposition as well as your own team.
• Avoid coaching their child during the game.
• Not to shout and scream.
• Respect the referee’s decision.
• Give attention to each of the children involved in soccer and not just the most talented.
• Encourage everyone to participate in soccer.

A colleague told me that in their organization referees have had cards printed, which are given to parents who argue. The cards say, “You obviously know a lot about the game. Ever thought about being a voluntary referee?” At the end of the day, leave the specific rules and regulations to the referee, the coaching to the coach and, as the parent, just be there for support and guidance. It’ll be the best call you’ll ever make.