College Planning content exclusively provided by the NCSA
Join NCSA at the Cal South State Cup, April 18 for FREE College Recruiting Seminars -- click here for more
A Parent’s Role in Recruiting
Many parents are not sure how they should fit into their child’s recruiting experience. With most life-changing events in a child’s life, parents are there to offer as much help as possible. Unfortunately, this is not the case when it comes to recruiting where it is actually best for parents to take an active, yet back-seat approach.
For example, college coaches always want to hear directly from student-athletes. When college coaches receive emails and phone calls from parents, they often take a step backwards because the student-athlete is not the one making effort and showing an interest in their school. Parents should be there simply as a guide throughout the process, while allowing their child to take the reins.
The most successful student-athletes are the ones who aim low, but shoot high. In other words, do not pressure your child to play Division I soccer, but allow and encourage them to apply to these schools, so long as they are also applying to schools at other divisions and talking to a variety of coaches. Do your homework as a parent so you can have a realistic idea of where your child fits in academically and athletically before they fill out an application.
As a parent, you must walk the fine line between guiding and becoming overbearing. It’s a challenge, and you will need to try to find a balance early on in the process. Put yourself in the coach’s position. If you were the coach, would you want a player on your team whose parent called or emailed you constantly, rather than the athlete making this contact for his or herself? No. Would you want a player who couldn’t speak for themselves or take responsibility for their own future? No. Coaches want athletes who will find the time to make their future in soccer a priority and ones who will put the work into it. They will also try to avoid having four years of an overbearing parent on the sidelines, even if it means missing out on a talented recruit. Parents lose opportunities for their child all the time, but if you help them in the process the right way, you won’t be one of these parents.
Here are a few guidelines that lay out what parents should and should not do during their child’s recruiting process:
Ways parents can help:
- Help create a highlight video and one-page resume that includes their athletic and academic information
- Help set realistic academic and athletic goals for their future
- Help create a filing system that keeps track of schools of interest and outgoing/incoming contacts
- Assist with travel arrangements for visits
- Coordinate information about testing dates and times
- Make sure your child spends time each week concentrating on their recruiting
- Be a good, active listener for your child
- Complete the FAFSA discuss financial aid with each college
- Research schools that you think your son/daughter may like, but allow them to make the final decision on whether or not to pursue them
- Seek professional guidance and support from a credible source
Actions to avoid:
- Emailing coaches
- Emailing coaches while posing as your child
- Calling coaches (only permissible near the end of the process)
- Engaging in long conversations with coaches on the sidelines
- Doing all of the research on schools. Your son or daughter needs to be engaged
Every parent wants the best for their children, but high school students have reached an age where they have to start doing things for themselves. You won’t be there to hold their hands once they begin college, so by teaching your kids to take control of their recruiting, you will set them up for a successful transition to college life. They are fully capable of doing this on their own; you just have to let them take on the responsibility and help keep them on the right track.
About NCSA:
NCSA, the “Official Scouting Organization and Provider of Recruiting Education” for Cal South, is the premier source for matching high school student–athletes with colleges and universities across the country. Visit www.ncsasports.org for more information about NCSA.
